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Peter
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Moments move forward like clouds rolling over Peter.
Where is he now?
Oh, how I love him and waste my breath telling him how.

Early in evening til late in the morning, Peter conquers my mind.
This always happens. Why'd I let this happen this time?

If I could free my head of all the things I've never said in the blink of an eye, I would.
I've tried. I could not find the words.

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TED Talk: How to Make Something From Nothing
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Have you seen the TED Talk: How to Make Something From Nothing?
All you need is a motive and a grain of sand.
Though that last part might be something, there is sand everywhere.
It’s the motive that’ll get you there!

And I said “Oh. Oh no, I did not know!”

You don’t have to tell them that you made something from nothing.
You can lie and tell them there was something all along.
And if you still got that feeling, and your brains ain’t on the ceiling,
You can put your pain to song.

You’re never more lonely than when your dealer won’t even call you back.
How are you supposed to cope with that?

There’s no point in looking backwards when your whole life’s moving forwards.
Let momentum take you with its awesome tide!
All the memories behind you have no right to stop or blind you
from all your present good times.

You’re so high and mighty.
Though you ain’t really, you’ve just been winning.
That doesn’t take away the sting of my own bottomless losing.

I wish you well, I do.
I wish you well, I do.
I hope you wish me well too.
I hope you wish me well.

To every new purpose given, there is hopes that we’ll be making gains upon the purposes that folks bestow.

For the effort put into it must yield a gratuity, or else the endeavor’s a joke.

And I said “Oh. Oh no, I did not know!”

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There is a Gas Station Open 24 Hours
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There’s a cemetery out in the woods.
We could take our bikes there,
Be up to no good in our own neighborhood.
Where we've lived some of our lives.

I still haven’t understood why it must be otherwise.

There is a gas station open 24 hours.
We could get some forties, eat some patch kids so sour that they pucker up your mouth.
The south to my north side.
They taste like maker’s mark and feel just like rawhide.

I wish you well, I do.
I wish you well, I do.
I hope you wish me well too.

This was a dream just like any other dream: it just wasn’t meant to be.
How it haunts my memory.

I can’t recall why I ever dreamt at all.
It was truly my downfall.
I should keep my thinking small.

But in the hours spent holding my own hand...or vainly making true love of a one night stand,
I would prefer to be miserable alone thinking of you. Why do I bother? What can I do?

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Tripping In Our Living Room
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Tripping in our living room, I have a hard time looking at you.
I have a hard on too. You do it to me.
You. Yes, you.

You do it to me.

Sitting in our favorite place, I see smile coming on your face.
That’s what I want to do too. You do it to me
You. Yes, you.

You do it to me.

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Life is Death Without You In It
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My life is death without you in it.
Fear and darkness fill the hole.
I dread the day and can’t begin it.
Nights are long and take their toll on my nonexistent soul.

Worse than kill, I bore myself,
Ambivalent about all who in vain attempt do wish me well.
Who, if they knew my feelings true, would know my wellness falls on you.

I feel our love comes from a place that is beyond our time and space.
And so I know it has to be a love for you or nobody.

I see I paint in strokes too broad and colors only black and white.
It comes from being raised by a God whose bullshit terms like wrong and right confine my dreams both day and night.

Your parted hair and manly jaw betray the girlishness I saw dancing in an empty room
Invisible and gay buffoon, your heart a feathery balloon.

My own is easily misled by never ending self-hatred.
I long for love that’s strong and free.
A love for you or nobody.

The things you do that bring me joy sadden when their end is near.
If only we could share one eye and listen through one single ear.
A single and self-loving queer.

I’ll find a way to walk the line until the time our lives are one.
The sun is out, the day is fine.
The birds are laughing and having fun and will until the day is done.

Nothing but distracting pain to wonder if you feel the same.
It makes no difference to me.

My love’s for you or nobody.

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No Strings Attached
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All I want is a boy to buy flowers for
No strings attached, just a flower and that's all
Then he'll come home to his family
Give my flowers to his wife

You can give my flowers to somebody who you really love

Cause all I want is a boy to buy flowers for
No strings attached, just a flower and that's all
Then he'll come home to his family
Give my flowers to his wife

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Running Red Lights
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Why do I follow the signs when the signs are all wrong?

Oh no!

I’ve been doing it for years!
I’ve had many a crying fit!
After so many angry tears, some part of me must be loving it!

And if it wasn’t you, it would be someone else.

At least that’s what they say and what I tell myself.
But it doesn’t ring true when I love only you!

Why do I still give a shit when you don’t care at all?!

Oh no!

I’ve been crying in my sleep!
I've been having the most fucked up dream where we’re both running red lights
and our bikes are at their highest speed.

There’s a car in the road you easily escape.
I myself am less lucky and stop badly scraped.
When you help me to my feet, your demeanor’s strong but sweet.

This above all to thine ownself be true.

More easily said than done when you’re trying to please everyone.
You just do what you’ve been told until the day you’re grey and old.

All your true desires on the back burner put you can try to forget, but it does you no good.

The world’s got you dead to rights when you’re caught running red lights.

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When What You Want to Be Is Completely Absurd
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When what you want to be is completely absurd, you say a dirty word and you walk the line.
All in its due time, the good will prevail.
Your bridge will draw and your ship will set sail.

Until that day, until that hour, you’ll find a way, find your own power...

Nobody else, so selfish is man is gonna make yourself well.

Only you can.

When what you want be is completely ignored, you close your door with yourself behind.
All in its due time you’ll be on your own and regret ever wanting to be alone.

Until that day, until that hour, I’ll find a way, find my own power

Nobody else, so selfish is man, is gonna make myself well.

Only I can.

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Telling Truth as Jokes
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Telling truth as jokes, you turn your eyes away.
You don’t want to make eye contact when telling truth as jokes.
For it’s likely that the taker won’t recognize that the maker is making a joke at all and will just leave feeling small.

Telling truth as jokes, you put your hand behind your back and don't let anybody see your index and middle finger linger close to one another, some’d say intertwiningly.
You’re as evil as can be.

Don’t let it bring you down.
The world is full of you’s
And just as many me’s foolishly trying to avoid absurdity.

Telling truth as jokes: a way of coping with a world that’s so absurd that it’s absurd.

Every word a triple meaning, with the meaning always leaning toward what power decrees.
You can’t do just as you please.

Hearing truth as jokes, I laugh as hardy as an oak that stands up firmly to the storm.
I am happy at least knowing that my knowing you has made me better than I was before.

And that I'm grateful for.

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I Want to Be The Wallet To You Keys
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This I ask in all sincerity: are we still on for our date tomorrow?
I want to be the wallet to your keys and go with you wherever you will go.

To the deli where you get your lunch at work, your pastrami and provolone on rye.
A free bag of sea salt potato chips?
I hope you won’t regret it when you die
of coronary side effects from sleeping in the summertime.

From eating like a linebacker who’s never tackled anyone.
Who thinks it’s alright to be proud of doing things that aren’t allowed.
And only for this purpose does the offense he’s been accused of.
And never takes the time to ask if it’s in his best interest to do the things that do him harm.
Who has no internal alarm.
Who thinks he might be getting fat and for that purpose buys a cat
To give him love that’s justified only by his being alive!

This I ask in all sincerity: did you get that text message that I sent?
I made sure to include a smiley facet to indicate the meaning that was meant.

I wanted to brighten up your day and let you know you’re on my mind.
Not all the time.
Well, maybe so.

If I’m on your mind, I don’t know...

But yeah I have some fireworks that we could shoot off anytime.
I’d prefer your roof over mine.
The landlords don’t like us up there and normally I wouldn’t care
But my birthday is next weekend: I want to throw a party then.
The weather says it’s going to rain. :(
I want to party all the same.
And yeah tonight it’s perfect out.
And I love what the world’s about.
The clouds are none and stars galore.
Reminds you what your heart is for:

For sharing with someone you love the beauty in the sky above

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Bodiless Mind
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I took it all logically only to find that I'm just as in love with his bodiless mind.
It was his eyes and smiling to start. The things that he said are what stay in my heart.

To try not to worry's not easily done. The attempt alone is itself worrisome.
Other than that, I think one could find out a way to get through the day without a doubt.

Stop making lists of the things to get done. Just do them right now and then go have some fun.
Happiness isn't a chore to put off. It isn't a flame, and besides, you're no moth.

The happiest man is still in the womb and all unhappy men to the tomb go soon.
Everyone else is happy at best, and stuck with the rest of their dull lives, I guess.

Someday you'll be dead, and not just for a while. Why waste your time grinning a cynical smile?
Give us your teeth and a might guffaw. And then make some delicious chocolate coleslaw.

You don't need a joint to enjoy the day: the best hippies know to be high either way.
But when the snow's falling gentle and still, a puff of the green stuff will make it way chill.

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Just a Text I Can't Take Back
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And there are more conversations that we could and could not have
That are not yet overshadowed by a text I can't take back.
And if I'm allowed through your door you know you're allowed through mine.
Maybe not tomorrow, but you call me up sometime.

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You Make The Light or You Let it Go
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Hit me like a ton of bricks, your ass that don't quit.
I write it down so that I don't lose it, fully knowing this is fucking bullshit.
You were such a beauty. I know that sounds so gay, but that is what you were and so I name it, not find purposes on which to blame it.

And if you're ashamed of the love I gave you,
Tell the folks we know that I said God bless you
Put it in your heart apart from all the stuff
That makes you say, "Good day! I'm done, I've had enough!"

A lonesome goodbye keeps me from attainment.
I lower my head and leave in disappointment.
Staring at your shoes can sure give you the blues.

Going home alone again.
It's no fun to have no one to talk to when the day is through.
To share with some lamb vindaloo.

I broke up with a ghost.
A parasite and host us both.
And only was there blood sucking, not even fun butt fucking.

I was so ashamed that I could not say it.
And you felt he same. And I still think it's true.
Even if I'm right, I'll never win the fight.

You make the light or you let it go.

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What A Gorgeous Morning
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What a gorgeous morning!
The dew is forming. I bid adieu to someone who
Never was boring, always imploring.
Oh how his laugh fills paragraphs.

The weather's changing. He is a stranger to me now.
And me to myself. Though it's all refreshing somehow.

What a gorgeous day! I break away from this obscene and dull routine
Of writing songs for his deaf ears. I'll write them for those that still hear.

The weather's changing. He is a stranger to me now.
And me to myself. Though it's all refreshing somehow.

What a gorgeous night! I say goodbye to an ideal and look toward real
Things upon which I can depend. It was too much to ask of a friend.

The weather's changing. He is a stranger to me now.
And me to myself. Though it's all refreshing somehow.

Pigeons on the ledge will bask there til the fall of rain.
Sensing coming clouds they gather around the window pane and they watch the families eat.
Scraps of meat for the dogs.
To a bunch of starving birds we must look like real hogs.